The effort that went in to YOU

I am currently rotating on the psychiatry service, making up a rotation that I kindly deferred until my fourth year of school because I really had no interest in psychiatry. And though I still really don’t think I could make a career out of being a psychiatrist, I thank God that I didn’t skip this rotation altogether (which I was hoping for during that past few months) because I am learning more and more about life and the difficulties normal people face than I have on any other rotation. There have been so many heart wrenching stories of young and old folks who have seemingly everything together, but are depressed and suicidal. There are the stories of the folks who were just using a little alcohol or drugs (illegal and/or legal) here and there to cope with a tough spot in life, and they end up a few years later dependent and in need of treatment. And then there are of course the patients who most (including me at most points in my life) would really just consider “crazy.” (Although I have come to realize that I use this label in order to remove myself from having to put forth the effort to understand what is really going on in that person’s life).

And yet, the accumulations of all these stories have struck a particular chord with me. This chord is the abstract concept of the amount of work (and I use that term loosely) that went in to YOU. Really. Stop, think about it.

We often consider the best things we produce in our lives those which we work really hard for: our outstanding work projects, a special dinner we have made, a well executed competitive performance, a well groomed garden, or even a medical degree. These are all great things, without a doubt. However, they really pale in comparison to YOU. You are the product of years and years of hard work, a joint project of your parent(s), siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends, priests, teachers, mentors, friends of friends. All of these people and more have collaborated and put forth effort to produce the ultimate result -- you.

How special is that? Really, it’s amazing.

But then, of course, things can go wrong at any time. We can very easily misstep and become one of the stories of those hospital patients. (Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that those people are failed projects, just ones that need a little extra work J).

It’s mind blowing to consider the number of people over the years who have helped you become who are you. And it’s not over, more and more people will collaborate with others to help you become the person you ultimately become. It seems almost selfish if we don’t then in turn try to be cognizant of the “projects” that are going on all around us and not do our part to help out. Most of the time, we probably do without even knowing it.

I guess the point is, put the time in, because you were and will continue to be worth it, and so is everyone else.

Dr. Luck

It's funny, no... it's not funny. It's awesome how people can inspire our lives and not even mean to. Some people just have a knack for being a shining light though they don't even try.

It is so with friend of mine, Dr. Luck, who passed away this past week. Though I knew her only briefly and the majority of our conversations were short emails or a short constructive critiques of my professional development, she still somehow managed to inspire me.

And even as I sat behind her friends and family at her funeral, loving the love that filled the space, it was a song that she had selected to be sung at her funeral that will stick with me as I continue down my own road. I have no doubt that it will help me focus again and again on the same love that enabled her to do the amazing things she did with her life...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_4g8_e16dc

"some good will come from this..."

Terrible things happen in life, sometimes. Whether they happen to us, to those we love, or people in some other part of the world, they just seem to happen. We can’t control them, even with our humanistic desire to do just that. I believe our effort to control them is cathartic and the right thing to do for now. But what do we make of the thoughts which these events inspire in so many. For example, I and many close to me were recently touched by the news of the loss of a young man’s life, just as he was beginning to blossom into the hopes and dreams of himself and those who loved him. These types of events make it very easy for us to get disillusioned by the inevitable loss that sometimes creeps right into our very own lives.

Yet still, there is hope for those who wonder “why?” and those who say “how could God let this happen to him/her” and even the questioning of “why did this have to happen at all?” It is no secret that when terrible things happen, caring friends and family often offer the condolence of “some good will come from this,” and though it is easy to dismiss this expression of hope as dismissive way to deal with grief and loss, I am happy to report that it is in fact true.

I had a conversation with a friend of mine two days ago discussing some of the tragic things which we have seen or been part of in our lives. She told of the traumatic experience of being within 100 yards of London subway bombing in 2005. I told of the untimely loss of a couple friends during my high school years. Though both stories were very different, we both casually described the effect those experiences had on the decisions we have since made since, and soon realized that a lot of those decisions have had direct effects on our career choices. My friend actually said at one point during the conversation “that was the day I chose to go to medical school.” We have both actually chosen career paths which are difficult but will eventually enable us to positively effect the lives of many people in our own way.

Now of course, everyone has life-experiences that help shape their lives, that is not to uncommon. However, what is interesting to me is that both events are exactly the type of events which people offer those same “why” questions mentioned above. And now, nearly 5 plus years later, some of the “good” which was hoped for result of those terrible events in our lives, is actually close to coming to fruition. Both she and I, nearly complete bystanders from our respective “life changing” events - have eventually used those “why” experiences for the good of others.

Thus I have come to the conclusion that when such terrible events occur, no matter how great or how small, though we grieve and hurt, it is REAL to expect good to result from our loss. There are in fact people, just like you and I who allow those events to move them and build up inside of them and ultimately inspire them to better the lives of others. It might take years, but if we are patient, real and tangible good will result from loss.